Sunday, June 27, 2010


[Q} I have been married now for four months to my cousin (father's brother's daughter), and we live with my family. One day, there was a misunderstanding between her and my family, so she returned to her father's house. She then requested a separate abode for her and me to avoid any further problems. Her other choice was for us to live in her father's house. I stipulated to her that we should continue to keep relations with my family. However, when I presented her idea to my family, they refused and were adamant about us living with them. Will I be sinning if I go against their request and live in a separate apartment with my wife or in her's father's house?

[A] This is an all too common problem that occurs between the husband's relatives and his wife. In this situation, the husband should expend all of his resources to create an atmosphere of peace and understanding between all parties concerned. If one of the two parties is in the wrong, he should reprimand them gengly and carefully, avoiding exacerbating the situation even further. Unity and harmony among relatives is consummately good.

But if such an end cannot be achieved, the husband can take his wife and live separately. In some situations this is in the interests of all' it gives an opportunity to remove any rancor from their hearts that might have been engendered while living together.

In this case, if he does separate from your family, he should stay close to them. This can be achieved if he finds an abode that is in clsoe proximity to them, making it easier for him to keep in touch with them. In this way if he can maintain his obligations regarding his family and his wife while living separate with his wife in their own home, then this is better.

Fatawa Islamiya, vol. 7, Sh Ibn 'Uthaimin

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